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Anand_n
Side Hero Username: Anand_n
Post Number: 4703 Registered: 02-2008 Posted From: 68.206.110.236
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 09:18 pm: |
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Mrhyderabad:Thanks anyway for the feedback.
Compliment ani cheppanu kada - anta feel avutaru emiti .. Soap opera writing is a genre in itself...And the way you end each part with a teaser or red-herring , the emphasis on melodrama etc are very much suited for serialising a story  aa chal ke tujhe main leke chalu ik aise gagan ke tale jahan gam bhi na ho, aansoo bhi na ho,bas pyaar hi pyaar pale |
   
Mrhyderabad
Side Hero Username: Mrhyderabad
Post Number: 2393 Registered: 01-2008 Posted From: 98.221.99.83
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 08:06 pm: |
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Anand_n:Excellent soap opera writing skills
Thanks anyway for the feedback. Perception is immune to Intellectual Correction ... |
   
Emc2
Junior Artist Username: Emc2
Post Number: 280 Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 70.177.172.198
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 07:46 pm: |
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Mrhyderabad:
enti sangathi nuvu kuda stories rasi response vaste movies lo try cheddam anukuntunnava,Hari video chesi you tube lo petti movie chance kotti nattu.
 ::naku evvaru fans leru,nene andariki favourite |
   
Anand_n
Side Hero Username: Anand_n
Post Number: 4702 Registered: 02-2008 Posted From: 167.24.104.150
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 06:16 pm: |
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Mrhyderabad:
Good narration - thought it had a little overdose of melodrama possibly because you were trying to build anticipation.. Excellent soap opera writing skills - and I do mean that as a compliment - though I do not personally like soap operas  aa chal ke tujhe main leke chalu ik aise gagan ke tale jahan gam bhi na ho, aansoo bhi na ho,bas pyaar hi pyaar pale |
   
Humpty_dumpty
Side Hero Username: Humpty_dumpty
Post Number: 2126 Registered: 02-2009 Posted From: 38.117.247.14
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 05:31 pm: |
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anyways good write up...have a nice weekend Liberty is too great a virtue to be buried in books |
   
Humpty_dumpty
Side Hero Username: Humpty_dumpty
Post Number: 2125 Registered: 02-2009 Posted From: 38.117.247.14
Rating:  Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 05:29 pm: |
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mothaaniki some1 nee champesaav... but fear of losing his family is not the reason as you mentioned fear of being proven guilty is the reason as he had a drink, DUI lo accident case dorikithay anthay sangathulu...that was the reason he did not stop after hitting the girl even though the jury cud have been in his favor if proved that the girl came on to road from a complet blind spot ( I know a guy in NJ who is good at such court room arguments ) Liberty is too great a virtue to be buried in books |
   
Mrhyderabad
Side Hero Username: Mrhyderabad
Post Number: 2392 Registered: 01-2008 Posted From: 167.230.38.118
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 05:23 pm: |
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Swapna looked at Sid who face was pale by now. Ton of questions were crossing his mind. How could i explain it to her? Would she be able to forgive me? I have been working all day long. And i was tired. But that's not the reason. I just had ONE drink with my boss. Again that can not be reason. I was coming home.. and suddenly a small girl .. probably in our Rithika's age came from no where... I had no clue where she came from. Probably from between those two parked vehicle on the side... But who would believe me if i say that? Would you believe me? Would the Judge believe me? Would the jury believe me? All they see is that - a small cute girl was ran over by a Wall street executive driving his Ferrari. That's all they care. No one would even give it a benefit of doubt that it might not have been a mistake from me. He didn't even stop as she is sure that girl had no chance of surviving. He didn't want to lose his family and kids. Fear got best of him. His brain didn't work at that minute. He stepped on the gas and came home without looking back. He knew how it would be for kids to grow without a father. His father left her mother and eloped with his secretary. He remember how his mother struggled to raise him and his sisters. He didn't want his kids to go through that. Since Sid was not talking... she asked the cops "What is the matter Officer? What is this about?" "Your husband ran over a 6 year old girl on center st two hours ago. An eye-witness gave the number plate information. And the blood marks on the in the portico confirmed it". Police turned towards Sid "You will have to come with us for few minutes". Sid tried to look at Swapna. Her face said "You have defnitely lost your family Sid... No matter what court orders". He slowly walked towards police car. One police escorted him to the car. Swapna asked another police about the girl's parents contact info. She planned to go and visit the little girl's parents first thing next morning. The End !1 Perception is immune to Intellectual Correction ... |
   
Mrhyderabad
Side Hero Username: Mrhyderabad
Post Number: 2391 Registered: 01-2008 Posted From: 167.230.38.118
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:54 pm: |
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Mrhyderabad:"Why don't you just tell me what happened?" pleased Swapna
read it as "Why don't you just tell me what happened?" pleaded Swapna. Perception is immune to Intellectual Correction ... |
   
Mrhyderabad
Side Hero Username: Mrhyderabad
Post Number: 2390 Registered: 01-2008 Posted From: 167.230.38.118
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:53 pm: |
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Swapna wanted to give him some time to settle. She kept the food back in the fridge and fixed herself a mango lassi Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Swapma was puzzled and looked at the clock. It was past midnight. Who would possibly be visiting them at this hour? However Sid was expecting it. But not this soon. He could guess the visitor. He froze like a rock. Two cops in uniform appeared as soon as Swapna opened the door. "Madam, is this the house of MrSiddharth Vellam"? "Yes, it is" swapna is clueless. "Are you MrsVellam?" "Yes, I am" "Is your husband home?" "Yes, He is" "May be come in for a minute. We will need to talk to him" Swapna stepped aside silently. She was shell shocked. Perception is immune to Intellectual Correction ... |
   
Chiru786
Junior Artist Username: Chiru786
Post Number: 627 Registered: 07-2008 Posted From: 64.22.207.2
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:52 pm: |
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Emc2:he slept with his boss adi sangathi......
anu kunna ......
 LONG LIVE MJ |
   
Emc2
Junior Artist Username: Emc2
Post Number: 279 Registered: 03-2008 Posted From: 157.127.239.146
Rating:  Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:50 pm: |
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Chiru786: Mrhyderabad: dreadful incident. what is that incident ........
he slept with his boss adi sangathi....... ::naku evvaru fans leru,nene andariki favourite |
   
Chiru786
Junior Artist Username: Chiru786
Post Number: 626 Registered: 07-2008 Posted From: 64.22.207.2
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:49 pm: |
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Mrhyderabad:dreadful incident.
what is that incident ........ LONG LIVE MJ |
   
Mrhyderabad
Side Hero Username: Mrhyderabad
Post Number: 2389 Registered: 01-2008 Posted From: 167.230.38.118
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:41 pm: |
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Sid silently went to the mini bar next to the dining room and fixed himself a large drink. "Why don't you just tell me what happened?" pleased Swapna. She is not angry anymore. She is just worried about him. Something terrible must have happened for sure she thought. "Nothing to worry about" he knew he was only fooling himself when he said that. But he thought, there is no way she could possibly understand it even if he explains it in detail. She just wouldn't understand. No body in the world would understand. He took a big gulp of Vodka. And he remembered the drink he had with his boss Anjali Srinivasan, CEO of NextGen hedge fund company. But that was just ONE DRINK. That can't be reason. One drink could never harm you he thought. But now he need another large drink to forget that dreadful incident. Perception is immune to Intellectual Correction ... |
   
Indian
Junior Artist Username: Indian
Post Number: 520 Registered: 02-2008 Posted From: 99.29.96.23
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:41 pm: |
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Only thought that came to his mind was he might lose his family. He might lose his loving wife and his little angels. // ledhaa Sidhartha ku asalu vishamu telisi family nu champeyyalani decide ayyadaa?? |
   
Indian
Junior Artist Username: Indian
Post Number: 518 Registered: 02-2008 Posted From: 99.29.96.23
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:38 pm: |
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He just couldn't imagine the thought of losing them.// Illu vaastu sarigaa ledhaaa?? Yevadanna jythiskudu cheppadaaa pillalu pothaarani, vaastu maarchamani thondharagaa??? |
   
Chiru786
Junior Artist Username: Chiru786
Post Number: 625 Registered: 07-2008 Posted From: 64.22.207.2
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:32 pm: |
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Annavaram:finsih cheyavayya saami setting aa leka edanna jabbu na what's happening to sid
HYD mama .... Story Complete Cheyyi ....... LONG LIVE MJ |
   
Crunk
Junior Artist Username: Crunk
Post Number: 160 Registered: 06-2009 Posted From: 66.196.163.70
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:32 pm: |
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Annavaram:bandi emanna cheap gaa ammesthada , mileage entha , ae yr model
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Annavaram
Junior Artist Username: Annavaram
Post Number: 878 Registered: 12-2006 Posted From: 71.97.15.86
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:30 pm: |
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finsih cheyavayya saami setting aa leka edanna jabbu na what's happening to sid bandi emanna cheap gaa ammesthada , mileage entha , ae yr model |
   
Dhaarkaar
Hero Username: Dhaarkaar
Post Number: 14615 Registered: 02-2008 Posted From: 198.204.133.208
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:28 pm: |
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Chiru786:Remaining story ....... ??
anthe story.. |
   
Chiru786
Junior Artist Username: Chiru786
Post Number: 624 Registered: 07-2008 Posted From: 64.22.207.2
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:27 pm: |
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Mrhyderabad:
Remaining story ....... ?? LONG LIVE MJ |
   
Nanigadu
Side Hero Username: Nanigadu
Post Number: 2945 Registered: 02-2008 Posted From: 204.92.92.4
Rating:  Votes: 1 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:14 pm: |
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house teesi lady boss aa? When you point a fingre at some body remember that there are three fingers pointing at you and one finger pointing at God |
   
Mrhyderabad
Side Hero Username: Mrhyderabad
Post Number: 2388 Registered: 01-2008 Posted From: 167.230.38.118
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:13 pm: |
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Humpty_dumpty:sidharth was not driving a Lamborghini?
aa car choosaka sudden gaa idea vachindi Ferrari ante easy gaa reach avutundi ani  Perception is immune to Intellectual Correction ... |
   
Mrhyderabad
Side Hero Username: Mrhyderabad
Post Number: 2387 Registered: 01-2008 Posted From: 167.230.38.118
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 04:12 pm: |
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Siddharth walked slowly in to the kids room. He didn't want to disturb the kids. Rithika (5) and Priyanka (3) both are in deep sleep. He went near their bed and ran his hand through their lovely hair. Rithika opened her eyes a little and smiled at Sid. She said "I love you papa" went back to sleep. Even though it happened many a times in the past, Sid was touched this time. Tears trickled by his cheek. He slowly walked back to the downstairs trying to clear his eyes. "How did the meeting go with your CEO?" Asked swapna trying to change the topic. "It was ok. We finally got the buy in" "They why are you looking worried?" "Nothing. I am fine. Just tired that's all". Sid was trying his best to look normal. He had no clue how she was able to guess that something is not right. Is the guilt written in bold on my forehead? "OK, then let's have some dinner. It is already late" Sid was not in a mood to eat anything. Infact, he was not in a mood to do ANY thing. Time does not seems to be moving at all. They said "TIME heals everything". But every minute is killing him. His guilt is doubling every second. But he was helpless. It was not his mistake. At least not something that he could have avoided. By the time he realized, it was too late. Way too late... His consciousness went through the roof as he petrified with the sudden turn of events. Only thought that came to his mind was he might lose his family. He might lose his loving wife and his little angels. He just couldn't imagine the thought of losing them. Perception is immune to Intellectual Correction ... |
   
Jodhaa
Side Hero Username: Jodhaa
Post Number: 9768 Registered: 02-2008 Posted From: 98.28.107.203
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 03:54 pm: |
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Humpty_dumpty:sidharth was not driving a Lamborghini?
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Humpty_dumpty
Side Hero Username: Humpty_dumpty
Post Number: 2124 Registered: 02-2009 Posted From: 38.117.247.14
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 03:53 pm: |
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waiting... sidharth was not driving a Lamborghini? hmmm Liberty is too great a virtue to be buried in books |
   
Anand_n
Side Hero Username: Anand_n
Post Number: 4698 Registered: 02-2008 Posted From: 167.24.104.150
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 03:52 pm: |
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Mrhyderabad:choler ante oka rakamaina irritating feeling ani meaning kadaa
Telidu Learnt a new word today will have to look it up ... aa chal ke tujhe main leke chalu ik aise gagan ke tale jahan gam bhi na ho, aansoo bhi na ho,bas pyaar hi pyaar pale |
   
Mrhyderabad
Side Hero Username: Mrhyderabad
Post Number: 2386 Registered: 01-2008 Posted From: 167.230.38.118
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 03:49 pm: |
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Anand_n:Told you once before - you give away too much in your title :-)
choler ante oka rakamaina irritating feeling ani meaning kadaa? bad usage aa? Perception is immune to Intellectual Correction ... |
   
Anand_n
Side Hero Username: Anand_n
Post Number: 4697 Registered: 02-2008 Posted From: 167.24.104.150
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 03:46 pm: |
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Mrhyderabad:
Told you once before - you give away too much in your title
Mrhyderabad:Swapna's choler
???? what's choler ? aa chal ke tujhe main leke chalu ik aise gagan ke tale jahan gam bhi na ho, aansoo bhi na ho,bas pyaar hi pyaar pale |
   
Mallik
Side Hero Username: Mallik
Post Number: 6427 Registered: 10-2008 Posted From: 162.116.29.69
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 03:46 pm: |
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Mrhyderabad:Orange County
 In this db, there's always someone watching you!!  |
   
Mrhyderabad
Side Hero Username: Mrhyderabad
Post Number: 2384 Registered: 01-2008 Posted From: 167.230.38.118
Rating: N/A Votes: 0 (Vote!) | | Posted on Friday, July 10, 2009 - 03:43 pm: |
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It was 11 PM on a Friday night. Most of the houses in Orange County fell asleep already. Swapna was switching TV channels impatiently as she has been waiting for her husband from a long time. He promised to be home by 8 PM that day to have dinner with kids. Swapna checked the time again and was thinking of going to bed when she heard the unmistakable sound of Ferrari driving into portico. Few minutes later, Siddharth walked in to the house quietly. He waved at Swapna and went in to the bedroom directly. Swapna's choler doubled as he missed the usual part - "Hi Honey, i am home" announcement and a hug. He was late and he didn't give her a hug. A huge crime in Swapna's court. Few more minutes later, he came back and asked "Are the kids asleep?" "Do you know what time it is? They usually go to bed at 9 PM" retorted swapna. Few minutes passed. No words spoken. She could sense some uneasiness in his behavior. Was he feeling guilty that he couldn't keep the promise made to kids? But this is not the first time he missed a date. And he usually comes home with a gift or something else to make up for that. And his sense of humor doubles during those occasions. But not to tonight. "Are you ok Sid?" asked swapna while trying to arrange food on the table. No response from him. He was looking at a family portrait that was hanging from the wall. He seem to have lost in thoughts. "Sid, Are you OK?" swapna asked again. "Yeah, i am fine" replied Sid. But that only increased swapna's suspicion that something is definitely not right. "Are the kids asleep?" He is definitely not in this world she thought. Her anger suddenly reduced. So she replied calmly this time "Yes, Sid. They waited for you and went to bed at 10PM". "Let me go and check on them..." said Siddharth while walking towards kids bedroom. "It's ok Sid. They are asleep now. Don't bother. You might disturb them. Come and let's have dinner" He was half way through the steps by the time she finished the sentence. Perception is immune to Intellectual Correction ... |