| Author | Message | ||
     Ustad Side Hero Username: Ustad Post Number: 7038 Registered: 07-2008 Posted From: 76.173.42.79 Rating: N/A |
Very good jokes. Fan of Fab 5: Sachin, Rahul, Saurav, Laxman and Kumble. | ||
| Muddamandaram Junior Artist Username: Muddamandaram Post Number: 740 Registered: 05-2011 Posted From: 123.201.64.11 Rating: N/A |
Husband and wife agreed that anytime they want to have sex, they will call it a "PHONE CALL". One day the husband sends his son to tell his mother that he wants to make a phone call and the mother replies; tell your father, there is no network.. Husband: tell your mother that if there is no network at home, then I’ll go to a public phone.. Wife: tell your father that if he dares go to a public phone, then I’ll open a bloody call centre at home. | ||
| Muddamandaram Junior Artist Username: Muddamandaram Post Number: 739 Registered: 05-2011 Posted From: 123.201.64.11 Rating: N/A |
This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral. A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life... A huge heart... covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.. At that point, one of the mourners just -burst- into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, 'I am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral... I'm a gynecologist.' The priest fainted | ||
| Muddamandaram Junior Artist Username: Muddamandaram Post Number: 738 Registered: 05-2011 Posted From: 123.201.64.11 Rating: N/A |
The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. The town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. They brought the cow from Scotland . It was wonderful, produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so that they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed. The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the other side." The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you, by chance, buy this cow in Scotland ?" The people were dumbfounded; since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland . "You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland ?" The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Scotland I have the same problem!!!" | ||
| Muddamandaram Junior Artist Username: Muddamandaram Post Number: 737 Registered: 05-2011 Posted From: 123.201.64.11 Rating: |
Getting Married On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple was involved in a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While anxiously waiting they began to wonder; could they possibly get married in Heaven? When St. Peter arrived, they asked him if they could get married in Heaven. St. Peter said, "I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out," and he left. The couple sat and waited for an answer... for a couple of months. While they waited, they discussed the pros and cons. If they were allowed to get married in Heaven, should they get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all? "What if it doesn't work? Are we stuck in Heaven together forever?" Yet another month passed before St. Peter finally returned, looking somewhat bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "You can get married in Heaven." "Great!" said the couple. "But we were just wondering; what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?" St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard on the ground. "What's wrong?" asked the frightened couple. "OH, COME ON!" St. Peter shouted. "It took me 3 months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take to find a lawyer??? | ||
| Jupiter Side Hero Username: Jupiter Post Number: 4513 Registered: 05-2011 Posted From: 59.92.169.104 Rating: N/A |
stinkingly old stuff ... this one .. where as rest were all fresh Maa cinema collection ATHYADHIKA kotlu .. maave genuince collections | ||
| Muddamandaram Junior Artist Username: Muddamandaram Post Number: 736 Registered: 05-2011 Posted From: 123.201.64.11 Rating: N/A |
I THINK IT WOULD APPLY 1000 PER CENT MULTIPLIED TO THE US. The Haircut One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Congressman came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it. BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON! | ||
| Muddamandaram Junior Artist Username: Muddamandaram Post Number: 735 Registered: 05-2011 Posted From: 123.201.64.11 Rating: |
> A group of young women decided to arrange for a camp with their > mothers-in-laws to hopefully get to know and understand each other > better seeing relations between them were very sour. > > Two buses were hired, one for the mothers-in-law and the other for the > daughters-in-law. > > Unfortunately the bus the mothers-in-law were traveling in was > involved in an accident and all the passengers died on the spot. > > The daughters in law (women being women) shed a few tears but they > were all puzzled by one sister who wailed uncontrollably for what they > perceived to be her loss. > > Her friend asked her,"Forgive me for asking but why are u crying so > hard,I didn't realize u were so close to your mother-in-law?" to which > she replied,"No we are not close at all, she missed the bus!" > > Women...!!! | ||
| Muddamandaram Junior Artist Username: Muddamandaram Post Number: 734 Registered: 05-2011 Posted From: 123.201.64.11 Rating: |
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not anywhere near. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her - Good looking as well Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Harrods. He politely greets the lady with, 'Good day, Madam. How may we help you today? Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident', she asks, 'what is the price of this lovely bracelet?' He answers, "Madam - if you farted just looking at it - you're going to shit yourself when I tell you the price!" | ||
| Muddamandaram Junior Artist Username: Muddamandaram Post Number: 733 Registered: 05-2011 Posted From: 123.201.64.11 Rating: |
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she was not sure that it was such a good idea. 'Do you enjoy it?' The doctor asked. 'Actually, yes, I do. ''Does it hurt you?' he asked. 'No. I rather like it. ''Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.' The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?' 'Of course, ' the doctor replied. 'Where Do you think politicians come from.' |
