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     Kindal Comedian Username: Kindal Post Number: 1527 Registered: 09-2007 Posted From: 122.169.159.169 Rating: N/A |
National Corruption Institute of India (NCII) Affiliated toIndian Parliament Listed on the World Corruption Index as the World's Best C-School Invites Applications for 3 Years' UndergraduateBachelors Degreein Corruption (BC). Earn your BC from the World�s Most Reputed Institute for Corruption Studies OUR COMPREHENSIVE SYLLABUS INCLUDES:- Financial Theory and Practice Transfer of funds throughHAWALAfor creation ofMASS GHOTALA FINANCIAL NETWORKING - Movement of money through well engineered networks between State Party Units and Central Party Unit. Solicitationmethods to increase donations towards Party Fund. Theory and application ofPopularBRIBE concepts and methods like Chai Pani, Parcel, Change, Gift Box, Color TV, Foreign Trip and the ever popular Children's School Feesï Public Relations (PR) and Media Management -Learn how to be MISQUOTED BY THE MEDIA. -Learn to say the right things to be QUOTED OUT OF CONTEXT. -Excellent training in PARTY SPOKESMANOLOGY. Learn how to argue with spokespersons of other Parties on TV like Professor Manish Tewari andProfessorRavi Shankar Prasad. -Develop skills for public gestures like NAMASTE, V-for-Victory and HAND WAVING. -Learn the art of proving all allegations as BASELESS AND POLITICALLY MOTIVATED. Effectively refuteSTING OPERATIONS. Advanced course in proving that VIDEO FOOTAGE IS FALSE AND MANIPULATED. Law and Order Module In this module you will learn how to: Commit MURDER and RAPE Bring LOCAL POLICE under your control Get BAIL super fast if you are ever arrested Apply and get speedy ANTICIPATORY BAIL so you don't get arrested in the first place! FIGHT ELECTIONS FROM JAIL! Special training lectures on this important topic will be handled bytwo authorities, viz.,Visiting Professors Shahbuddin and Pappu Yadav! Advanced Riotology Methods to build your own storage houses for HOCKEY STICKS AND WEAPONS to engineerriots. Identify and develop your own fuel depots for easy and widespread dispersal of RIOT FRIENDLY PETROL TANKERS Form effective partnerships with local liquor stores for easy procurement of DESI DARU to get rioters high and ensure awesome rioting! Full study in CONTEMPORARY BUS BURNING. New age exciting methods for INSTANTANEOUS BUS COMBUSTION. Practicalsand field work on Kashmirmethod of inciting riots through STONE THROWING. Actual rioting demonstrations under the expert tutelage of Professor Pravin Togadia. Gain Extensive Knowledge from Our Faculty of World cl-ASS Professors Special Modules on: 2G SPECTRUM -A Telecommunications Perspective - By Professor Andimuthu Raja Flat Grabbing from Army Jawan- By Professor Ashok Chavan The Correct Standard of Clean - By Professor Lalit Bhanot Sports Medal or No Medal, in Corruption Always GetGold Medal - ByProfessorSuresh Kalmadi Application of Corruption on Non Human Species Stealing Money for Cattle Fodder- By Professor Dr Laloo Prasad Yadav Building A Corridor for The Taj Mahal Can CostMore Moneythan Building The Taj Mahal Itself- By ProfessorMayawati Kumari. Agriculture & Food Supply ideal tools for major gains inMoney supplybySharad Pawar Also visitingprofessors from ITALY, "How to make money by connections only" And Many Many More!! SO FORGET B-SCHOOL! BE COOL, JOIN C-SCHOOL. NCII IS THE BEST. The greatest threat to freedom, as well as the most formidable enemy of it, is a supported cause against it. |
