| Author | Message | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2783 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 146.18.173.73 Rating: N/A |
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Thunder Comedian Username: Thunder Post Number: 1234 Registered: 05-2007 Posted From: 64.119.242.5 Rating: N/A |
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Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2776 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
balayya style lona  | ||
Razesh Comedian Username: Razesh Post Number: 1221 Registered: 12-2006 Posted From: 121.247.249.245 Rating: N/A |
parledhu, nijam cheppatamlo kallu poyina, pallu voodina nenu feel kaanu  | ||
Thunder Comedian Username: Thunder Post Number: 1226 Registered: 05-2007 Posted From: 64.119.242.5 Rating: N/A |
kallu potahyi | ||
Razesh Comedian Username: Razesh Post Number: 1218 Registered: 12-2006 Posted From: 121.247.249.245 Rating: N/A |
adhayithe sagamenti...poorthiga ayipoyi bendakaay puchipoye stage lo vundhi | ||
Thunder Comedian Username: Thunder Post Number: 1225 Registered: 05-2007 Posted From: 64.119.242.6 Rating: N/A |
mundu kasa bisa chestene kada pelliki paniki vostama leda ani telisedi  | ||
Thunder Comedian Username: Thunder Post Number: 1224 Registered: 05-2007 Posted From: 64.119.242.6 Rating: N/A |
telusulevo, sagam pelli ante engagement ayindi ee Oct lo pelli ani  | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2771 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 146.18.173.71 Rating: N/A |
pelli antey kasa bisa kaadu | ||
Thunder Comedian Username: Thunder Post Number: 1219 Registered: 05-2007 Posted From: 64.119.242.5 Rating: N/A |
 nannu target settaventi, naaku already sagam pelli ayipoyindi | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2761 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 146.18.173.73 Rating: N/A |
jagarata bendakaya mudurutundhi, bramhachari mudirina bendakaya mudirina waste | ||
Thunder Comedian Username: Thunder Post Number: 1217 Registered: 05-2007 Posted From: 64.119.242.5 Rating: N/A |
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Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2378 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
alo pellikaani prasadu | ||
Kosthabidda Side Hero Username: Kosthabidda Post Number: 2751 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 61.14.7.138 Rating: N/A |
alo vunkul | ||
Thunder Comedian Username: Thunder Post Number: 1031 Registered: 05-2007 Posted From: 64.119.242.5 Rating: N/A |
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Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2350 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 146.18.173.71 Rating: N/A |
THIS IS NOT TO OFFEND ANY COMMUNITY Q:What is a Sikh Scuba-diver called? A:JAL-ANDHAR SINGH Q:What is the history of Punjab called? A:SARSON-DA-SAGA Q:What would Punjabi International Airlines be called? A:KITTHE PACIFIC Q:What would Punjabi Domestic Airlines be called? A:ITTHE PACIFIC Q:What is a Sindhi Lawyer called? A:CASE-WANI Q:What is a communist Sindhi called? A:LALWANI Q:What is the Sindhi who falls from the first floor called? A:THADANI Q:What is the Sindhi who falls from the 30th floor called? A:MARJANI Q:What does one call a dead-drunk Parsi? A:BEJAN DARUWALA Q:What do you call a Parsi Pimp? A:NAARI CONTRACTOR Q:What is a Parsi test-tube baby known as? A:BATLIBOI | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2344 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 146.18.173.71 Rating: N/A |
Banta Singh's Letter To Bill Gates Dear Mr. Bill Gates, This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab.We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice. 1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field.We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is. 2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button. 3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this. 4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting. 5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home. 6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug?? 7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat. 8. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that? Best regards, Banta Singh | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2318 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 146.18.173.71 Rating: N/A |
alagey professor | ||
Thunder Comedian Username: Thunder Post Number: 1025 Registered: 05-2007 Posted From: 64.119.242.5 Rating: N/A |
maastaru mee jokulu baagunnayi | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2317 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men Know About Women | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2316 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2315 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
God saw u hungry, he created Domino's pizza. He saw u thirsty, he created Pepsi. He saw u in dark, he created light. He saw ME without problems, he created YOU ! | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2314 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
A - U'r Attractive B - U'r D Best C - U'r Cute D - U'r Dear 2 me E - U'r Excellent F - U'r Funny G - U'r Gud Looking H - He He He I - I'm J - Just K - Kidding | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2313 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
namasker this is all india anti sleep accociation mid night service our aim is to disturb the sleep of others thank u good night. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2312 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
One day Sardarji goes to a bank for withdrawing cash of Rs.25,000. Lady cashier asks in Hindi. 'So So Ke Loge?' Sardarji: 'Khade Khade Bhi halega!' | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2311 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Nurse: A beautiful woman who holds your hand for one full minute and then expects your pulse to be normal. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2310 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Sexy Girl sardarji to a sexy girl at the pub.... will u ••• with me tonite? Girl: yes, but do u mind if im on my menstrual cycle? sardar : Oye! its o.k! even im on my bajaj pulsar!! | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2309 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Sardar Wins Lottery A Sardar buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. The Sardar says, "I want my 20 lakhs. The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks." The Sardar said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks. The Sardar, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!" | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2308 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Sardar in Saudi Arabia A Sardar, a German and a Pakistani got arrested consuming alcohol which is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime they are all sentenced 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik announced: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The German was first in line, he thought for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes & the German had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain. The Pakistani was next up. After watching the German in horror he said smugly: "Please fix two pillows to my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes & the Pakistani was also led away whimpering loudly. The Sardar was the last one up, but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world and your culture is one of the finest in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Thank you, your Most Royal and Merciful highness," Sardar replied. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik said with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. "And what is your second wish, ?" the Sheik asked. Sardar smiled and said, "Tie the Pakistani to my back"!!! KHABARDAR KISINE AB SE SARDAR KA MAZAAK UDAAYA TO (Never dare to make fun of a sardar !) | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2307 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
What's Ford? Santa: Gaadi. What's Oxford? Santa: So simple, Bail Gaadi | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2306 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa and Jeeto were on an African Safari when a lion sprang out of nowhere & draged Jeeto with his jaws. Jeeto: Shoot him, Shoot him! Santa: I can't. I ran out of film. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2305 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Jeeto: U tell a man something, it goes in one ear & comes out of the other. Santa: U tell a woman something, it goes in both ears & comes out of the mouth | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2304 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa: My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog! Banta: Oh! That’s terrible. Santa: Yes, it was sad to watch the dog die in convulsions." | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2303 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Q: Why was Santa writing the exam near the door? A: Because it was an entrance exam. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2302 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa & Banta got tired of mobile & decide 2 use pigeons. 1day a pigeon reaches Banta without message. Angry Banta calls Santa! Santa: Oye, this was a missed call. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2301 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa standing on platform suddenly jumps on the railway track. Banta: Santa u'll die. Santa: U'll die bcoz haven’t u heard train is coming on platform? | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2300 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Preeto 2 maid: Oh Kanta, I hv reason 2 suspect that Banta is having an affair with his secretary. Kanta: I don't believe it! U r just trying 2 make me jealous. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2299 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Jeeto: I didn't know you smoked. When did you start? Preeto: That night my husband came home early and found a cigarette butt in the ashtray. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2298 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Nurse: Congrats Santa ji, aap papa ban gaye. Santa: Meri wife ko nahi bolna mein use surprise dunga! | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2297 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Q: Why did Santa throw the butter out of the window? A: He wanted to see butterfly! | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2296 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Banta sent sms to Santa: Bhejnewala mahan, padhnewala gadha. Santa got angry and replied: Bhejnewala gadha, padhnewala mahan. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2295 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho? Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aya hai. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2294 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell. Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2293 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatoes 5 days ago, he hasn't come back yet! Santa: Why don't u cook something else. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2292 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa waitin at bus stop in UK along with 3 women. When bus arrived, conductor picked the women & said: No more, no more | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2291 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye. Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2290 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Jeeto: yelled at Santa: U're gonna b really sorry! I'm going to LEAVE you! Santa: Make up ur mind! Which one is it gonna be? | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2289 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa went to see a gal for marriage. Their families decided to leave them for some talk. After some time, Santa asks: Behenji, tusin kinne behen-bhai ho? Girl: Vaise taan 3 si, par hun 4 ho gaye | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2288 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered: Waiting for autumn | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2287 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa was standing in sun on a hot sunny day. Banta asked: What are you doing? Santa: Drying sweat | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2286 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua? Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2285 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa goes to buy a underwear. On choosing one he asks: How much for this? Shopkeeper: Rs 500 Santa: Arey bhai daily waer dikhaao, Party wear nahin chahiye. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2284 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
While walking in the highlands Santa fell down a deep hole. Banta: R u ok? Santa: Yeah! Banta: Did u break anything? Santa: No, there's nothing down here | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2283 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Jeeto & Preeto were talking about their new milkman. Jeeto: He's very good looking, punctual & dresses so smartly. And so quickly too!, said Preeto | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2282 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa suffering from cold was shivering. His son called a doc. Doc: wht happened? Son: Bimari da ta pata nahun par baapu saver da VIBRATION mode te lagaya hai | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2281 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles. Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note' | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2280 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Affair with Boss A brunette, a redhead and a blonde all work in the same office with the same female boss. Every day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that when the boss left, they'd leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back, so how was she to know? The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening and went to bed early. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting a dinner date. The blonde was happy, happy, happy to be home, but when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS!!! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house. The next day, during their coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again, and asked the blonde if she was with them. "NO WAY," she exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!" | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2279 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Weird Hollywood Things to learn from the movies: During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets which reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty. There is never any dust or lint in the ventilation ducts. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition - even if you haven't been carrying any before now. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a bill - just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare. At night, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames or explode. The Chief of Police will always suspend his star detective or give him 48 hours to finish the job. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2278 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
The New Priest A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous On the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm. Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door: 1. Sip the vodka, don’t gulp. 2. There are 10 commandments, not 12. 3. There are 12 disciples, not 10. 4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated. 5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass. 6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C. 7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook. 8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the sh*t out of him. 9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass. 10. We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.” 11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, “take this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say “Eat me” . 12. The Virgin Mary is not called “Mary with the Cherry, 13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God. 14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at ST.Peter’s not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’s | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2277 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Soft Drinks Banta had always ordered a beverage by simply saying, "A Coke, please." However, recently waitresses had been responding, "I'm sorry, we don't have Coke. We have Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Thums Up, Dew, Sprite, Fanta... " Tired of listening to the long list of soft drinks, Banta decided to make life easier. So one day he simply asked the snack bar clerk at a movie theater for a "Dark, Carbonated beverage." The young man behind the counter looked up and said, "Sir, would you like a cylindrical plastic sucking device with that?" | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2276 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Group Policy Peter walks into an insurance office and asks for a job. "We don't need anyone" they replied. "You can't afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone, anytime, anything!" "Well we have two prospects that No One has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, you have a job." He was gone about two hours, and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000.00 and another for $50,000.00. "How in the world did you do that ?" they asked. "I told you I'm the worlds best salesman, I can sell anyone, anywhere, anytime!" "Did you get a urine sample?" they asked him. "What's that?" he asked. "Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000.00 the company requires a urine sample. Take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples." Peter was gone about 6 hours and they were fixing to close when he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down, and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine, and sets them on the desk and says, "Here's Mr. George's and this one is Mr. Robert's." "Thats good" they said, "but what's in those two buckets?" "Well, I passed by the Holiday Inn and they were having a teachers convention, so I stopped and sold them a group policy!" | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2275 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
The Latecomer For thirty years, Smith had arrived at work at 9 A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular day 9 A.M. passed without Smith's arrival, it caused a sensation. All work ceased and the boss himself, looking at his watch and muttering, came out into the corridor. Finally, precisely at Ten, Smaith showed up, clothes dusty and torn, his face scratched and bruised, his glasses bent. He limped painfully to the time clock, punched in, and said, aware that all eyes were upon him, "I tripped and rolled down two flights of stairs in the subway. Nearly killed myself." And the boss said, "And to roll down two flights of stairs took you a whole hour?" | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2274 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Dying Wish! A man went to the Doctor and the doctor told him he had only 24 hours to live. He goes home to tell his wife and after they both had a long cry over it, he asked her if she would have sex with him because he only had 24 hours to live. "Of course Darling." she replied. And so they have sex. Four hours later they are lying in bed and he turns to her again, and says, "you know I only have 20 hours to live, do you think we could do it again?" Again she responds very sympathetically and agrees to have sex. Another 8 hours pass, and she had fallen asleep from exhaustion, he taps her on the shoulder, and asks her again, "You know dear, I only have 12 more hours left, how about again for old times sake?" By this time she is getting a little annoyed, but reluctantly agrees. After they finish she goes back to sleep and 4 hours later, he taps her on the shoulder again and says, "Dear, I hate to keep bothering you but you know I only have 8 hours left before I die, can we do it one more time?" Well, she turns to him with a grimaced look on her face and says, "You know... you don't have to get up in the morning, but I do!!!" | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2273 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Karate Class Joe was a not too smart kind of guy. Everyday when he walked home from work, he would get stopped by three nasty men and they would beat him up and steal his money. Finally, Joe decided that it would serve his best interest to walk a different route and then take up some self-defense classes so this wouldn't happen again. He joined a karate class and soon was doing very well to defend himself. So, one day, on the way home from work Joe took his old route home and sure enough there they were. He walked up to them and the battle ensued. The next afternoon Joe went to his karate class with a black eye, a broken nose and a busted lip. His instructor, shocked, asked him what happened. "Well," explained Joe, "I took my old way home last night so I could beat these guys up who were stealing my money, but they beat me up before I could get my shoes and socks off!" | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2272 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Ex-Husband This married couple was sitting in a fine restaurant when the wife looks over at a nearby table and sees a man in a drunken stupor. The husband asks, "I notice you've been watching that man for some time now. Do you know him?" "Yes" she replies, "He's my ex-husband, and has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago." "That's remarkable" the husband replies, "I wouldn't think anybody could celebrate that long." | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2271 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Funny Form Drivin Licence Applikason Faram NOTE: Please do not Soot the person at the applikason konter. He will give you the licen. For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason. 1. Last name: (_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no (Check karet box) 2. First name: (_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no (Check karet box) 3. Age: (_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no (Check karet box) 4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable 5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right 6. Occupason: (_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_) Un-employed (Check karet box) 7. Number of children libhing in the household: ___ 8. Number that are yours: ___ 9. Mather name: ______________________ 10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no, leave blank) 11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed) 12. Dental rekard: (_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other -__________ Give egjhakt color (Check karet box) **13.Your thumb imparesson : (** If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression) PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS. Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand. NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE. WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THIS | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2270 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Java Interview Java Interview attended by our Banta: Q. Explain 2 tier and 3 -tier Architecture ? A. Two wheelers like scooters will have 2 tyres and autorickshaws will have 3 tyres. Q. I want to store more than 10 objects in a remote server? Which methodology will follow? A. Send it through courier. Q. Can I modify an object in CORBA? A. As you wish , I do not have any objections. Q. How to communicate 2 threads each other ? A. Sorry, Non living things can't communicate. Q. Explain RMI Architecture? A. I am a computer professional not an architect student. Q. What is the use of Servlets ? A. In hotels, they can replace servers. Q. What is the dif ference between Process and Threads? A. Threads are small ropes. Make a rope from threads is an example for process. Q. What is JAR file ? A. File that can be kept inside a jar. Q. What is JINI? A. A ghost which was Aladdin's friend. Q. How will you call an Applet from a _Java Script? A. I will give invitation. Q. What is bean ? Where it can be used ? A. A kind of vegetable. In kitchens for cooking they can be used. Q. Write down how will you create a binary Tree ? A. When we sow a binary seed, a binary tree will grow. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2269 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Transferring Files Santa once wanted to transfer some files form one PC to another. Following was the steps followed by him. 1) Right clicked the mouse on the file which he wanted to transfer and selected CUT option. 2) Disconnected the mouse from that PC. 3) Took that mouse carefully and connected it to the other PC where he wanted to copy that file. 4) Right clicked the mouse and selected the PASTE option. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2268 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Free Drinks A young businessman was seated next to an elderly priest on an airplane. Having a minor technical problem at the gate and the flight being delayed, the Captain apologized and announced that the airline would be buying a free round of drinks. When the charming and very attractive flight attendant came by, the businessman ordered a double scotch. Then she asked the priest if he would like a drink. "Oh, no thank you," replied the priest. "I would rather commit adultery than drink alcohol." Halting in mid-swallow and dribbling scotch down his front, the businessman quickly replaced his drink on the beverage cart and replied, "Excuse me, miss, I didn't know I had a choice." | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2267 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Dearly Hug A couple was having some trouble, so they did the right thing and went to a marriage counselor. After a few visits, and a lot of questioning and listening, counselor said that he had discovered the main problem. He stood up, went over to the woman, asked her to stand, and gave her a hug. He looked at the man and said, "This is what your wife needs, at least once a day!" The man frowned, thought for a moment, then said, "OK, what time do you want me to bring her back tomorrow?" | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2266 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not wanting to be rude, he allowed the old gent to join him. To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time. Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball and directly between his ball and the green. After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree." With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay. | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2265 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Banta`s Date Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal." Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman. The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal. Banta, "It was a flop idea." Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?" Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!" | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2264 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Hairy Armpit A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!" The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?" The drunk replied, "Any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!" | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2263 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
large woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walked into a Bar. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owl-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, "Give the ballerina a drink!" The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it down. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, "What man here will buy a lady a drink?" Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, "Give the ballerina another drink!" The bartender approached the little drunk and said, "Tell me, it's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?" | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2262 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
married man was visiting his mistress when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face." James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she'd kill me!" "Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice. "Oh, really, I can't," he replies. "My wife loves this beard!" The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in. That night, James crawls into bed with his wife while she's sleeping. The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies, "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't be here, my husband will be home soon." | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2261 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
The Blind Date After being with her all evening, the man couldn't stand another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone an hour into the evening so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim statement and said, "I have some bad news. My grand- father has just died." "Thank God," his date said. "If yours hadn't, mine would've had to." | ||
Goonda Side Hero Username: Goonda Post Number: 2260 Registered: 02-2007 Posted From: 75.66.181.73 Rating: N/A |
Office Memo To: All Employees Dear Staff, It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise. Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday. Lunch Breaks: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average size. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Restroom Use: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet pater roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the "Chronic Offender" category. Surgery: As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed will constitute a breach of employment. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, and input should be directed elsewhere. Have a nice week. |